The Start of Something New

Introduction

I wish to give my audience the full, unfiltered side of me — everything that falls from my fingers to the screen — hoping to give someone not just insight, but something relatable, something that touches you with that common feeling. At the end of the day, I want to write my own personal diary on the internet by choice, to find connection, and to reach somebody who may feel they are in the same boat too.

It may be long at times, but I hope you enjoy my exclusive thoughts for the very first time

Day 1: The Start of Something New

Starting something on your own for the first time that you are spreading to the world can be very scary. 

It has been a dream of mine to have a hobby I actually stick to — something that gets me somewhere on a path I’ll never know unless I start. And this is where I’m starting: today at 1:50am. Yes, in the morning.

I’ll give a bit of context, because I find that adding context helps people understand my mindset while I’m typing my thoughts.

For the first time in my 26‑year‑old life, I experienced the loss of a family member exactly four weeks ago… and it shocked me, naturally. But most importantly, it made me think about what I want out of life — really think.

I’ve worked in the healthcare system for five years now, and sadly, due to the job market being very difficult — especially with next to no connections — of course it’s going to be hard to apply for new roles.

However, I’m not shocked by this. At the same time, I know I haven’t achieved or accomplished enough to be “The Chosen One.” With the mental health problems I’ve had since working in healthcare, I wouldn’t expect anybody to pick me. But I do believe that, as a society, we choose not to help each other, even when magical opportunities could lead to wonderful things for everyone.

I feel so closed because everyone else feels closed — glued to their screens. Don’t get me wrong, I’m unfortunately part of that statistic, but not completely closed off with headphones in. I use earphones. Still, I hope someone — even myself — could tap a stranger on the shoulder and say, “Can I talk to you?” without it being creepy.

What I’m really saying is: I WANT CONNECTION, and WE NEED CONNECTION, because that’s what humans need. I feel like everyone is so closed off from the world while God knows what’s going on — bad things, I assume — happening before our eyes. Before we know it, we’re no longer here, and I sense a lot of people have regrets about the things they should have done because the world has sucked them into the digital world and made them forget those connections.

That is something my parents and grandparents instilled in me — the traditions of the olden days — and I feel proud to represent them. Simple things back in the day were priceless, like:

• Talking in a room in person with no distractions. Every time I go to my grandparents’, the first thing I do before walking through the door is put my phone on silent, because I know for the next 3–4 hours, with no TV and sometimes no lights, we’ll just talk and talk about anything and everything.
• Actually having a conversation on the phone. This is my favourite — even with earphones in — because hearing someone’s voice is different from texting silently. I remember one time I spoke to the same person for 14 hours; we were so engaged we lost track of time.
• Thanking people in public services — bus drivers, train drivers, or even going to the ticket office to physically buy your ticket — actually thanking them and having a brief conversation before using the service.
• Being nice to someone and having only one personality, not hiding yourself. This happens a lot in healthcare; many people feel they have to be someone they’re not. This is why I get on with older people — they’re more transparent, and I can have a full‑blown conversation with them.

What I’m trying to say is that social media and technology have completely screwed society. I feel the people at the very top have either purposefully made this happen or were never chosen to rectify the deafening impact of what’s happening to the world today.

A part of me feels ashamed to be alive, even though I had no say in it — obviously — because if I had a choice, I wouldn’t want to be part of this. I’m sorry, but it’s the reality I didn’t sign up for. From when I was a kid to what the world has become, I feel like I’ve fallen for a scam — where people give you the ultimate resources of what the world is going to be like, and out of nowhere it’s nothing but people glued to phones, mental health problems with no help, everyone for themselves, the rich getting richer, and the poor getting poorer.

Last thing, and I am calling it a night.

If there was one wish I had on this earth — the ultimate, most impossible wish anyone could ever ask for, one that would require world leaders to act — it would be simple: World Peace.

Good Night and God Bless. D