Escapism Daily

I am anxious about my time I've got with Mum It’s exactly as it sounds. Every time I go to bed now, since my stepfather passed away, I’ve started saying “Goodnight and God Bless” — a nightly tribute to him, and a way to keep some form of remembrance. I think it’s normal that when a close family member passes away, your mind goes to the next oldest person closest to you who isn’t extended family. For me, that’s my Mum. I still have both my grandparents, who are at the tender ages of 82 and 84, but the thought of losing the only person I now live with terrifies me. I can’t imagine being in a house alone. It’s unimaginable. When my stepfather passed away, I didn’t expect the house to be down to two, but the reality has officially set in since his passing on the 10th of February. I’m at the stage in my life where I naturally want to do as much as I can with my Mum, but at the same time we’re living our lives as normal — going to work, and on our days off we don’t always want to do the ...

Yes, it’s that time in my life I wish had never come, but like everyone who has ever lived or will live, it eventually happens… I have to go to a funeral — but not just any funeral — a close family funeral. Technically, he wasn’t related to me by blood, as he was a step‑figure, but that doesn’t matter. He was in my life for 22 of my 26 years, and the fact that this has happened still doesn’t feel real. A part of me never thought it would. Was I naïve enough to think it could never happen? That my family were simply immortal? Or was it just the way life had always been — everything the same for the entirety of my life — that made it feel impossible? Until now. I’ve finally realised that anything is possible, and that’s what has caught me off guard: we only have one life, and we have to make the most of it, just like my stepfather did at the tender age of 76. And when you think about it — someone who smoked for 60 years, but stopped for the last 2+ years of his life so he could stay on...

  No Spoilers: I felt great!  After struggling to sleep for the past 2 weeks while trying to get myself back into work, today of all days — “it was your last day, of course you felt good” — well… no, not exactly. I still only had around 6 hours of sleep and kept getting up during the night, but after my breakfast this morning and my 20‑minute break — where I bought a Corner Shop Cheese and Onion Sandwich (they are disgusting… well, I can eat them, so meh) — I also had Transform‑A‑Snack Saucy Barbecue crisps with a Rubicon RAW Raspberry & Blueberry Energy Drink. Despite it all costing me over £3, I’m not complaining. I got my food, I got my energy, and I felt good throughout the day — which, to me, means a lot. I didn’t have anything for dinner because I’d already eaten on my break, and my appetite wasn’t there anyway — which was the main thing… until I got out of work, and now I’m hungry. Since this is basically my Friday, I’m going to treat myself to a chicken burger from...

  Exactly as the title reads.  I’d imagine very few people know what it’s like to go into work just weeks after a bereavement. To give you an insight: I am simply tired all the time. The best way to describe it — if you’ve ever been on antidepressant medication that makes you drowsy and fall asleep, it’s exactly like that, but without the medication. I’m currently sat down, dreading how today is going to go, 10 minutes before I start. The day before yesterday I could only manage 6 out of the 8 hours. I was falling asleep, and what didn’t help was that the period itself was somewhat of a “chill” period. I found myself not focusing on anything, and after a bit of twiddling my thumbs, that’s when my brain started slipping into sleep mode. Let’s hope the Weetabix with two tablespoons — I know, a bit much — with an Actimel yogurt, a seeded yogurt, an Activia Gut Health yogurt, and a green tea for a bit of caffeine does the trick for me today. If not, then there is definitely someth...

Introduction I wish to give my audience the full, unfiltered side of me — everything that falls from my fingers to the screen — hoping to give someone not just insight, but something relatable, something that touches you with that common feeling. At the end of the day, I want to write my own personal diary on the internet by choice, to find connection, and to reach somebody who may feel they are in the same boat too. It may be long at times, but I hope you enjoy my exclusive thoughts for the very first time Day 1: The Start of Something New Starting something on your own for the first time that you are spreading to the world can be very scary.   It has been a dream of mine to have a hobby I actually stick to — something that gets me somewhere on a path I’ll never know unless I start. And this is where I’m starting: today at 1:50am. Yes, in the morning. I’ll give a bit of context, because I find that adding context helps people understand my mindset while I’m typing my thoughts. For...